Month: February 2015

My Grass Is Greener

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Have you ever looked at a yard and wondered why certain parts of the grass looked brown and tough like it was dead or something, while other parts of the grass looked really green, and thick and full of life?

If you have, good. . .I’m glad I’m not the only one.

This is the thing, everybody wants the fancy award-winning yard with the plush green grass, but let’s be real. . .nobody wants to do what it takes to make that happen. Nobody wants to put in the extra work.

Honest Moment: I used to be one of those people, yep I was there. I was one of those people who felt like if I gave “just enough,” then I should still receive more than enough. And even though I knew I was more than capable of doing better, I would still just do C- work, and expect an A+ grade. Listen, I am so thankful for a renewed mindset because I really almost missed my blessings by trying to stay stuck in that place. Luke 12:48 is a scripture that my mom doesn’t mind sucker punching me with, “…When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.” After reading and re-reading this scripture, it finally started to sink into my inner woman, my grass, and I had to stop whining, pick myself  up, and throw all of my excuses away.

I had to face the harsh reality of the direction that my life was headed if something didn’t change. I had to stop trying to cover up my mistakes, my bad choices, and my short-comings. I had to come to the realization that in order for me to live the full, prosperous, green life, that I desired, some drastic decisions had to be made; and I was the only one that could make those decisions.

So now I able to say, my grass is greener. Yes, I said it. . . my grass is greener. As a matter of fact, it is a whole lot greener than it was a few years ago. And I’m no longer ashamed to show it off because even though my yard is still a work in progress, my Lawn care man worked a miracle and revived those dying parts that had already started to thin out and turn brown.

I read a quote that said, “If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you can bet the water bill is higher.” I am a living witness that, that is a TRUE statement. The sacrifices and the choices that had to be made to get to this point were extremely challenging, however it was worth it. And let’s not exclude the test and the trials, the storm and the rain, that were sent to make my grass greener and stronger. 

I am constantly reminding myself that every decision was necessary. The break-up was necessary. Cutting the ties was necessary. Deleting the number and the text messages was necessary. Walking away from toxic relationships was necessary. The rejection was necessary. Changing my mindset was necessary. An attitude adjustment was necessary. Exercising my self-control was necessary. Fasting and praying was necessary. Drinking more water was necessary. Going to bed on time was necessary. Spending time alone was necessary. Shutting my mouth was necessary. Listening more was necessary. Not spending every penny I earned, and actually saving was necessary. No it wasn’t easy, but those growing pains were necessary. I know without a doubt that it was God who covered me during the “grass growing” moments of my life. He definitely put in some work with me. From the fertilization process to the deep watering, to pulling up the weeds, it took work to get this yard in tip-top shape. The blades were extra sharp, and the constant mowing was painful; but it was necessary. *cues music* “I’m stronger. I ‘m wiser. I ‘m better, much better.”

And the great thing about this is: your grass can be greener too! We must be willing to help ourselves. Because we are given new mercies each day (Lam. 3:22-23), everyday is another opportunity for us to make a change. For us to make some type of progress; for us to make a difference in our own lives. Remember this, “The grass is always greener where you water it.” We have to stop spending so much time being concerned with everybody else’s yard, that we start to neglect our own. You pass by, and you see how great their yard looks, however you have no idea of all the steps that had to take place in order for that to happen. As the saying goes, “You see the Glory, but you don’t know the Story.”

I said all that, to say this: Allow God to care for your yard. Allow Him to deep water yours. Allow Him to pull your weeds and fertilize you. Ask Him to revive the dry places in your life. Note: Remember to be very specific when you ask Him. I won’t tell you that the transition for greener grass is easy because there are some rough patches; however I want to encourage you to allow God to do His work on you and in you . . . the end results are so worth it.

~B.

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” (James 1:2-4)

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What’s Really Going On?

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Did you know that most schools no longer have Black History programs during school hours? School officials claim it’s taking away from academic learning time? Whet?! Am I the only person that has a problem with that?? Yet, prisons are built based on the 3rd grade reading levels of our Black boys. The stats are showing that if a Black male is falling behind in reading in the third grade, he will most likely not graduate from high school, and he will end up in prison because over 75% of the inmates are high school drop-outs. Now THAT just takes me there, because maybe if they were able to read about things and people and places and experiences that they could relate too, then maybe they wouldn’t be falling behind; BUT that’s another post for another day.

Back to what I was saying,

I remember being excited about Black History Month when I was a kid. I used to be ready to get my poster board and pick out my markers and colored pencils and head over to my Grandma Faye’s house. She was an elementary school teacher, and she used every moment she had with me to teach me something. I grew up with encyclopedias and dictionaries on the book shelf, and going into my dad’s office to find out more information about Mary McLeod Bethune was something that I looked forward too. Not copying and pasting off the internet, but literally doing research each year on the person I chose for Black History Month. That was in the mid 90s, fast forward to 2015. . .What the heck is going on?!

No like for real what is going on?! Our history, who we are, how far we’ve come, is so important. The challenges that our parents and grandparents and great grandparents had to face and overcome is important. All the harsh treatment that they were forced to endure to make sure we could enter a restaurant through the front door, or use a public bathroom, or vote in the elections, or sit in any seat on the bus, or go to college, all of those things are important! But for some reason, so many of us still don’t get it. Especially those of us who are apart of this current generation of “entitlement.” For some crazy reason we think that world owes us something, and that we are doing everybody a favor by merely existing.

Young people, especially those under 25 years old really think that things were always this way. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. probably one of the most famous people in Black History. . .I double dare you to ask a teenager to tell you just 5 things about him. I bet they couldn’t do it. I dare you to ask a teenager to tell you 5 things about our current Commander-in-Chief, President Barack Obama; I bet they wouldn’t be able to do it. Smh! It’s already bad enough that the television shows that actually shined a positive light on the Black community like “A Different World” and the “Cosby Show” and “Family Matters” and “Fresh Prince” have been replaced with all the guilty pleasure, ratchet reality shows like “Love & Hip Hop” and “Basketball Wives” that only highlight all the negative stereotypes of Black people (fussing, fighting, cursing, sleeping around) in order to boost ratings. And to now learn that Black History programs and projects are being snatched away from our schools. And then to add insult to injury, the Churches are no longer taking the time to do Black History programs. Heck, the parents aren’t even telling our kids about prominent people in history that happened to look like them. What is going on? What happened? When did Black History Month become just another month? When did we get so disconnected from our roots? Who dropped the ball? Where did we go wrong? How can we fix this problem? Look y’all we are suffocating ourselves. We are participating in our own demise. We are so overly consumed with things that don’t even benefit us. We are the biggest consumers, yet we are at the bottom of the chart when it comes to owning our own stuff.

It’s a sad thing that a kid can tell you the exact date that the next pair of J’s is dropping, but can’t tell you when Dr. King’s birthday is.

I’m an optimist, so I honestly believe that there is a solution. I mean, it has to be. This cycle of ignorance has to stop and WE have to break it. Let’s make something happen. Let’s do something. I challenge you to find a young person and take them under your wing. Teach them something new. Ignite their fire. Let them know that they are not just the descendants of slaves, but they are connected to Royalty as well. Began to mentor them. If we all were just to start with one young person and then that person grabs somebody and then the next person grabs somebody, then maybe just maybe there is some hope for us. Make a difference in the life of some African-American boy or girl. We scream that we want things to get better. We post on social media that #BlackLivesMatter. Well we have to start being the change that we seek. I believe we can breathe again. We can get better. We can turn things around for our people. We can make a difference in our communities, in our states. We can change the world.

~B.

In the words of my Soror, Eunique Jones, Because of Them We CAN!

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Jiggaboo’s Vs. Wannabee’s

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Colorism is a practice of discrimination by which those with lighter skin are treated more favorably than those with darker skin. In the African-American community, this is traditionally played out via the paper bag test.  In the past, those lighter than the standard paper lunch bag were allowed entry into fraternities, sororities and other realms of black upper class life, while dark-skinned blacks were excluded.  Colorism has become a very serious, emotional and psychological battle among the African-American community.

The Jiggaboo’s vs. The Wannabe’s  is still ringing loud in 2015.  (School Daze)

It’s heartbreaking to me when I think about how much we as a people contribute to our own mistreatment. Things will never get better until we start doing better. Until we stop competing with one another, and begin to love and embrace and support one another. We do more harm to ourselves than any other race ever could ever do. The drama that we put each other through is unnecessary. To some, the battle between Light skinned long hair, Brown skinned short hair, Dark skinned natural hair is petty and non-existent, however to most teenage girls and grown women alike, the stresses of trying to look the part is very overwhelming . . .  and even though some like to say, “it doesn’t really matter because (technically) we’re all still a part of the same race” the battlefield in the minds and the hearts of our little Black girls is real. The media (Music, Television, Instagram, Twitter, Youtube) tells them how to dress, what their bra cup size should be, how small their waist needs to be, and what type of booty would drive a black man wild. Social media is teaching our girls that what you look like is more important than how smart you are. As Beyoncé said, “Pretty Hurts.”

Being a young Black girl in 2015 is difficult. The pressure is real.  That’s why we must take our girls back. We must be the examples. We must be the light. So that means we have to do some self-evaluation, and get ourselves together because our little sisters, nieces, cousins, daughters are depending on us. They need some role models and mentors to look too for guidance.

Let’s start encouraging one another. Let’s start lifting each other up. Let’s love more. Let’s break this destructive cycle. We are the most versatile ethnic group; we come in all shapes, sizes, and shades. God made us special. We are intellectual. We are trendsetters and trailblazers. From music, to the arts, to sports, to food, we are in the spotlight. We are innovative, we are creative, most things that are used every day we invented, we came up with the concept. So let’s use our power and influence to help benefit US, instead of using it to belittle one another. We are strong. We are intelligent. We are beautiful. We are lovers. We are powerful. We can change the world.

~B.

“Pretty hurts, we shine the light on whatever’s worst

Perfection is a disease of a nation, pretty hurts, pretty hurts

Pretty hurts, we shine the light on whatever’s worst

We try to fix something but you can’t fix what you can’t see

It’s the soul that needs the surgery.”