Month: March 2015

My Passion = My Paycheck

/ britjames10 / 1 Comment

3 years ago … I was going to become a Lawyer, and then a Judge. Rewind <<<

2011 was definitely one of those highs and lows type of years for me. I had a great job. My baby brother joined the military. I ended a relationship. I chopped all of my hair off. I turned 25. My grandfather died from lung cancer. I went sky diving (from 14,000 ft.) I resigned from that great job. I went to Vegas. You see what I’m saying, so much happened in just 12 months.

And then I entered 2012. And with all that had happened, good and bad in 2011, I was determined to make 2012 “My Year.” Turning 25, and entering into the summer stage of my life, I started to view things differently. And for those of you who are not quite 25 reading this, let me go ahead and tell you, turning 25 is a life changing experiencing. It’s different from 16, 18, or 21. At 25, the world looks different to you, and the world looks at you in a different way.

But anyway, back to 2012… My mom wanted to know what I was going to do next. She wanted to discuss my new game plan. Was I going to go to Graduate School? Was I going to start looking for a new job? And after much thought, I decided that I was going to go to Law School. I went to Books A Million and purchased the LSAT study guide, I went online and registered to take the test, and I began to research schools to attend. My mind was made up and I had mapped out a plan to meet all of my deadlines so that I could enter school in the fall.

And then…BOOM!

My mother, who is my biggest influence, looked at me as I sat on her bed and said, “Britney, I don’t think going to Law School is what you are supposed to do. That’s not your calling. I know you want to practice law and eventually become a Judge, but that’s not your path baby girl. God has something else for you. Just pray about it some more.”  I couldn’t have disagreed with her more. I wanted to be a Judge. I’m really into history and law and politics, so I knew that I would be great at it. And I also knew that I would make a whole bunch of money as Judge Brit James. After that conversation with my mom, I was hurt and disappointed because I really wanted her to agree with my decision 100%, I wanted her to just go along with it. I didn’t want her telling me talk to God, I just wanted her to go visit John Marshall’s School of Law with me.

Later that week, I begin to talk God, I asked Him for guidance and direction as to what I needed to do next. I got over my disappointment with my mom because I knew she just wanted what was best for me. And honestly, she gave me some great advice, “pray about it.” There was a probation officer position opening with the Department of Juvenile Justice in Sumter County, and I immediately thought “Ok, this has to be from God.” Not only did I meet the qualifications: Bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice, 3 years of experience in probation, 85 or above on the state probation officer’s test, the job was in Americus, and on top of that the person that would be doing the hiring was a friend of my mom’s and she’s been knowing me since I was little girl. So, I was like YES, I’m so in there! So I called the state office and got my scores mailed to me, I went online and filled out the application, I got my friend to juice up my resume, I hand delivered my packet to the main office in Muscogee County the day before the deadline, and then I called the family friend to notify her that I completed everything. She then told me that she would check on my application, and that they should be doing interviews within the next week. The day after the deadline to have everything in, that same family friend called me around 7:30 am and said, “Brit I’m sorry, I won’t be able to interview you. You forgot to submit your scores with your application and resume.” I’m like what do you mean??? Ya’ll just can’t look up my stuff online, I passed the test, it was an honest mistake. At that point, there was nothing she could do. Feeling defeated, I called my mom to let her know what happened, and surprisingly she was very calm and she assured me that God had another plan for me.

One of my mom’s customers had given her the Tri-County Journal, and listed in it was a job opening for a Program Manager of a Teen Pregnancy Prevention program. She encouraged me to go ahead and send in my resume, I did, and a few weeks later, I got a call from Michael Ellison to come in for an interview. That interview lasted for about 2 hours, and a few days later I got another call to come in for a second interview with the Director of the program. That interview lasted about 15 minutes and I walked out with the job.

That was 3 years ago! On March 27, 2012, I became the Program Manager for the Marion County office of Swagga & Lace Initiative.

I LOVE what I do. I love the communities that I work in and with. I  LOVE the children that I empower! I would’ve never thought in a million years that I would be getting paid for something that I’m so passionate about. That I would be getting paid for something that I did for free at FMBC for years, actually this is something that I would do for free now. I love young people, and I love that I have the freedom to plant seeds and watch them grow. I enjoy getting to know them and building relationships that will last a lifetime. Over the past 3 years, I’ve had the pleasure of servicing over 300 children in this area. The past 3 years have been the most productive and rewarding years of my life. While working here, I’ve been able to travel to so many different places and network with so many people in this field. I even had the honor of being one of the presenters at the National Youth At-Risk Conference. I have grown so much as a person. These children have literally changed my life. I’ve been blessed to be a blessing. I honestly feel like jobs in the social service field are after God’s own heart, and every day I am grateful to Him for giving me this opportunity to make a positive impact and help change the lives of His children. I truly believe that I am serving Him every time I pour into these young people.

My friends joke me all the time, saying that I don’t work for real, and honestly they are so right, this doesn’t feel like work at all! My Gift made room for me. God is AWESOME; He made my Passion my Paycheck!

I took you through 2011 and the beginning of 2012 to encourage you to trust God and His timing. I honestly believe that I would’ve been successful working with the Department of Juvenile Justice, however I would not have been in the Perfect Will of God for my life. Our plans are not His plans. We have to trust and believe that He knows exactly what He is doing with what He created. He chose us. He set us apart. God loves His children, and He wants the absolute best for us. I truly believe that He will blow our minds if we let Him!

  • If you are feeling stuck, talk to God.
  • If you feel as though you are at a stand still, talk to God.
  • If you’re not quite sure of what it is you should be doing, talk to God.
  • If you know what you should be doing, however you don’t know how to make it happen, talk to God.

So many times when we are faced with tough situations, we like to turn to people for the answers. I’ll be the first to admit that even though I give pretty good advice, I am human and that means I don’t have all the answers. However, I know someone who does; God, and He makes no mistakes. So if you want to be in the Perfect Will of God, talk to Him. Everything happens when it’s supposed to happen. We have to trust the timing of God in our lives. As my Bishop always says, “Rejection is just God’s Redirection.” Even when it seems like everything around you is getting out of hand, just remember whose Hand you’re in; He’s got it all under control.

Oh, and Mother knows Best!

~B.

“Before I formed you in your mother’s womb I chose you. Before you were born I set you apart. I appointed you to be a prophet to the nations.” (Jeremiah 1:5)

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Flock Together!

/ britjames10 / 7 Comments

“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” (Proverbs 27:17)

Whoop, there it is!

This is another one of those scriptures that holds us accountable to one another. Just as friends can be bad influences, they can and should be good influences. I read a quote that said, “Surround yourself with people who are only going to lift you higher.” Link up with people who are going to push you to do better, people who don’t mind challenging your way of thinking. Many times we choose to hang around people that we feel superior too. We pick friends that are always looking to us for the answers. We do those things because we enjoy being needed. We enjoy being the top dog, and the “President of the Clique.” We enjoy being the smartest one in the group. However, is that considered a healthy friendship? No, it’s not.

“Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.”

Friends feed off of each other. We must hang around people who are like-minded. Our friends don’t necessarily have to have the exact same goals or dreams; however, they do need to possess the same drive and passion when it comes to advancing to the next step. We need friends who are strong when we are weak, friends that don’t mind lifting us up when we’re experiencing a low place. We need friends that are smarter than us, we are not experts in everything; and being able to reach out to someone close to you for a solution is definitely a plus. Connect with people who have been there, done that and have the key chain and t-shirt to prove it. As friends we must be able to cheer each other on as we are making progress. If you hang around people who lack ambition, eventually your fire will begin to die down. However, if you hang around people who know how to make a plan and then execute it, then you will begin to do the same. “Surround yourself with people who reflect who you want to be and how you want to feel, energies are contagious!”

If you see a friend drowning, you would call for help, throw them a buoy, or better yet you would jump in and save them. Bottom line, you would do something. The same thing should apply when it comes to telling the truth. Truth is. . . sometimes the truth hurts, and most of the times we push honest people away. However, we must be friends with people who don’t mind putting us in check. Even if that means making us mad. You can’t be afraid to lose a friend because of the truth. If a friend walks out of your life because you were honest, then it was just their time to go. “The ugly truth is better than a pretty lie.” So many times in our friendship circles, we do each other a disservice because we won’t tell the truth; even about the smallest things. If the outfit doesn’t fit my body type, tell me. If my hair is looking busted, tell me. If I’m ashy, musty, crusty, tell me. If my Facebook status was out of line, tell me. If the picture I posted on Instagram made me look desperate, tell me. If I said something that hit below the belt and it hurt you, tell me. Just be honest. When I am wrong, let me know. . .don’t let me drown!

Accountability is a must. True friends bring out the best in each other. We need those friends that will check on us, and double-check on us to make sure we’re doing what we should be doing. We need those friends who refuse to celebrate in our weaknesses. We need those friends who won’t attend our unnecessary pity-parties. Those friends that will remind us of the goals we set, and that will commit to getting us there even when we don’t want to go. We need those friends to remind us of our new healthy lifestyle, and refuse to let us eat more than one slice of turtle cheesecake. We need those friends who refuse to let us settle for less than we deserve. Those friends who will not let us wallow in our mess. Those friends that won’t let us dwell on our past mistakes, instead they give us tips on how to move forward. We must be responsible for each other. We must look out for one another. We need to keep each other grounded. We need to keep each other focused.

You need friends that have your best interest at heart. You need friends that will pray for you without you having to ask them too, and vice versa. You need friends who will make wise decisions, and who will encourage you to do the same. You must surround yourself with people who inspire you. Connect with people who will push you to be the best version of you. Remember, “birds of a feather flock together.” Your friends are directly linked to your future; if your friends are the bomb.com, then you will be too!

~B.

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Thanks So Much!

/ britjames10 / 2 Comments

My mama always told me, “Britney, always tell people thank you because nobody has to do anything for you.”

So to everyone that read and/or shared a post, THANK YOU!

Its been 1 month since I launched my contribution to the world, and the warm welcome along with the positive feedback has definitely kept me encouraged. Y’all sure know how to make a girl feel like somebody! I remember when I first purchased my name back in October of 2014, I wasn’t quite sure about what I was going to do with it, I just knew I wanted to do something. And so, after being inspired by my girl Bey, I decided to start my own public-private diary (oxymoron, I know.) Because my mind is ALWAYS all over the place, my Jay has always encouraged me to write, she assured me that I would feel better after getting it all out; and I’ll admit, this blog has definitely been a release for me … kind of like therapy. I learned a long time ago, that when you know that someone else understands, and they have gone through and overcame some of the same issues that you are faced with, it makes it a little easier to carry the load. It gives you hope that the sun will eventually shine if you just hold out.

There are some conversations that need to be had, there are some topics that need to be discussed, and I plan to post things that will do just that: start the convo. It is also my hope that something you read will cause you to think; I want to inspire you, encourage you, motivate you, and challenge you to be the best version of you.

Thanks for the support, thanks for the extra push! This is only the beginning.

~B.

“We Overcome satan by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony.” (Revelation 12:11)

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Birds Of A Feather. . .

/ britjames10 / 1 Comment

“Don’t be fooled: “Bad friends will ruin good habits.” (1 Corinthians 15:33)

Point. Blank. Period. I could just stop right there.

This is one of those scriptures that punched me right in the stomach. Because come on, we all have friends that we know should do better, that we know could change, however they refuse too and we just won’t let them go. They are dragging us down, and frustrating us, and draining all of our energy, but we continue to spend our time with them. We spend our money on them. We hang out with them. We fix their problems. We make excuses for them. We tell ourselves that it’s not that serious. . . that as long as we are not participating in their bad habits, then it’s nothing wrong with being friends with them. WRONG.

My mom always said, “Association brings on assimilation.” You become who you hang around. It has been proven. The 5 people who you hang around the most, have the biggest influence over your life. And if we’re honest with ourselves, we can see the truth in that.

We all have spirits and energy that can be transferred to one another. That’s why if one of your friends is crying, you want to cry. Or if one of your friends is mad, you begin to get mad.  If one of your friends curses a lot, then chances are you will start sounding like a pirate soon. If one of your friends gossip all the time, then chances are you will begin to stay in other people’s business as well. If one of your friends is “Negative Nate or Debbie Downer” then chances are you will start to see your cup half empty.

It is a fact; birds of a feather flock together. It’s also a proven fact that spirits transfer. We are drawn to people with the same energy as us, kindred spirits. As humans, we like to be around other humans who are just like us. We like to feel needed. We are social creatures.

So check this: If you go hang out in the smoker’s lounge too long, 9 times out of 9 you will come out smelling like smoke; and other people will automatically assume that you’re a smoker whether you were actually smoking or not. . . Right? So that means if you don’t smoke, don’t go in the smoker’s lounge. It’s just that simple, we can’t get upset when people paint their own pictures of us; especially when we continue to give them the paint, the primer, and the brushes.

If you are practicing celibacy, you can’t hang out with people who like talking about their sex life all the time; because you will find yourself wanting to engage in sexual activities. You are trying to lose weight for the fourth time this year, but your friend is always offering you a Quarter Pounder with cheese; sooner or later you are going to take them up on that offer. You stopped drinking, but every weekend your friends are taking Jell-O shots and popping bottles; after a while you will be sipping as well.  And I know some of us like to get all deep and say that “We are Christians, and we know how to withstand temptation, we have self-control, we have will power. . .” and I agree, God is with you, and I’m glad you are living for Him, however your flesh is weak and to continue to put yourself in compromising situations that will only lead to dead ends is just crazy. You are asking for trouble. You’re playing with fire, and eventually you will get burned. If your friends are living a certain way or engaging in activities that are no longer good to you or for you, why would you continue to be around them?

People often come to me for advice about friendship, and most of the times I ask everyone these few questions:

  1. How are you benefitting from that person?
  2. Are they adding to you, or taking away from you?
  3. How is that person benefitting from you?
  4. What do they bring to the table?

If you have a friend who is selfish, and isn’t attempting to help you in any way, drop them. If they always have their hand out, and are taking away from you, drop them. If you are always doing for them, and you feel used, drop them. If they don’t add any value to your life, if they don’t encourage you to be a better person, drop them.

Stop tolerating that emotional abuse! Rid yourself of the leeches who are sucking you dry. People like that will do more harm than good.

Either you will change your friends, or your friends will change you. It’s no way around it. No matter how good you attempt to be, if you keep hanging around trash, you will start to stink. And nobody wants to be a hot, funky, moving mess.  So set yourself apart, and align yourself with people who are heading in the same direction as you. We can’t choose our family, however we can choose our friends. Choose wisely.

~B.

2014 hh