Month: December 2016

New Faces

/ britjames10 / 5 Comments

 “Sometimes the people whom we’ve known for only a short amount of time have a bigger impact on us than those we’ve known forever.”

A couple of months ago, I journeyed to a new country with some new faces, and had the time of my life! Everything was so fun, easy-going, and chill. There was no drama, no complaining. I mean, I almost felt like these faces were not new after all because of how well things went. That’s even true for a group of women at the church I attend; every Sunday for the past couple of years, and I do mean every Sunday, about 7 of us literally laugh and talk about everything under the sun after service until they kick us out. And to be honest, I have sometimes felt more genuineness from these new faces than I do some of my old faces. Spending that short amount of time with different people once a week and even on vacation helped me to appreciate the wonderful people in my life; however, it also made me reevaluate some of the old faces that have been around for years.

Those experiences, along with a conversation with one of my friends definitely changed my perspective as it pertains to making new connections. Mainly because most of my leisure experiences usually include very familiar faces, and I also thought that my “making friends’ stage” of life was pretty much over and done with. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Now I’m not saying that I’m going to call everyone in my life, and tell them that they’ve been replaced; because I do have some amazing people who I am connected to. However, I am finally accepting that sometimes you just need to change and/or expand your circle. Actually, I want to encourage everyone I know to either change or expand their circle as often as they see fit. I just believe that there is so much you can gain from healthy connections. And so what if you’ve only known this new face for a short amount of time, if they are contributing to your growth, then they should be added to your life with open arms; and those who aren’t should be dropped off.

A wise woman I know always says, “Your network is your net worth.” Meaning: We are truly the sum of the people that we have in our lives, and the ones that we choose to spend our time with. This is why we must always do a circle check, and make the necessary changes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with readjusting, because truthfully some of the old faces that we are trying so hard to keep around were just supposed to be in our lives temporarily.

We will end up avoiding so many obstacles, if we just stop spending so much precious time and energy on seasonal people. Giving out and pouring out, pouring out and giving out, and end up getting nothing in return. Wasting our time; and time is something that we can’t get back. We have to learn how to literally place people where they need to be in our lives. I expressed to my home-girl that entering another decade has definitely changed my perspective on a lot of things; especially relationships. When someone’s expiration date has arrived, I will start to do what’s necessary to close that door. Because it’s now time for me to start making room for some new faces.

My advice to you is to do the same. As we come to the end of this year, and 2017 resolutions are being drafted and vision boards are being created; start to take inventory of the faces in your life. Are they actually helping you to become a better person? Are they pushing you to reach your highest potential? Seriously ask yourself: Are these undercover haters or motivators? Do they discourage you or inspire you? Are they growing or standing still? What are they actually contributing to your life?

Life is too short, and time is too valuable to be spent on people that aren’t adding anything of significance to you. I’m not saying go fire all of your old faces, I’m just advising you to take a closer look at them. It may also be time for you to close some doors, and make room for some new faces.

“There are times when God has to change your circle, in order to change your life.”

~B.

new-faces

Move In Silence

/ britjames10 / 11 Comments

A lot of times we miss out on our open doors, opportunities, and blessings because we speak way too soon.

I’m going to give some very simple advice: If you have a couple of trustworthy friends or family members in your life, share your good news with them, and be done with it until the time is right. Speaking too soon, or better yet, posting too soon can sometimes be detrimental. Mainly because sometimes people are just sitting back waiting on something to go wrong for you. Believe it or not, they aren’t praying for your success. They aren’t hoping for the best. They are literally standing by with their cell phones ready to record and screenshot your downfall. Some people are content with you doing well, just not better than them.

The quicker we realize that everyone isn’t in our corner, and that everyone doesn’t have our best interest at heart, the easier it will be to practice moving in silence.

This year, I was faced with a couple of difficult situations, and I’ve also had quite a few awesome things happen to me in 2016, however, I was able to keep all of it within my circle, and to be honest it felt really good. I felt secure because we were all on the same page. I’m so glad I don’t have to participate in the social media resolutions about cutting people off, and not taking certain people into 2017. Because in 2016, I can truly say that my trust hasn’t been betrayed. There were experiences that I was very happy to share, while there were some victories that I wanted to hold close. I made the decision to start to be more aware, and intentional about the things I share. Learning to move in silence wasn’t the easiest thing to do; I’m glad I learned how though.

Everything isn’t meant to be shared with everybody.

If you made the mistake of over sharing in 2016, try to do things a little different in 2017. Try to lean more on your support system, especially when you just want to bounce ideas around. Even doctors suggest that newly pregnant women wait until the first trimester is over before they share the good news; mainly because so many things can happen within the first stages of pregnancy.

So if you are waiting on a college acceptance letter, going back to school for another degree, about to purchase a house, waiting on some test scores, pending a promotion, ending a toxic relationship, going on an interview for a new career path, considering a move to a new city, thinking about asking your lady for her hand in marriage, quitting your job, following your dreams, getting a side hustle, launching a new business, and you just can’t keep the excitement to yourself, I suggest that you look within your circle, and just find a few people you trust to  share your thoughts and excitement with until it’s official.  

Remember, timing is everything. Talking too much, moving too fast or prematurely can cause unnecessary issues; and that’s usually because you can be placed in a position to be swayed by other people’s unwanted questions, advice, and opinions. There are also some people who really do love and care about us, however, because they are filled with their own personal fears and doubts, they sometimes unintentionally discourage us from fully carrying out our plans and achieving our goals.

When the right time comes, you will be completely ready to share all of the wonderful news with the world. In 2017, I encourage you to save yourself some trouble by staying focused on your to-do list, and moving in silence.

“Don’t announce the move before it’s made. They’ll see it when you get there.”

~B.

clouds