Best Friends

Help Me Level Up

/ britjames10 / 1 Comment

A few months ago, I read something that said:

“Be friends with people who force you to level up.”

Level Up (v.) is an action idiom, so that means the friends are forcing some type of action to take place. To me that quote means, be friends with people who force you to:  achieve, improve, excel, move forward, enhance, advance, be responsible, be accountable, be honest, be loyal, be better.

A few days ago, a friend of mine checked me. And I’m not talking about a beating around the bush/throwing shade kind of checking. I’m talking about a very direct, in your face “Brit you are wrong” type of checking. Now at first, I’ll admit. . .I was half-way ticked off. For about 2 minutes, I allowed my mind to GO THERE. “I mean, she has some kind of nerve coming at me, telling me that I was wrong. I’m not wrong, they are wrong. Like who does she think she is?! She’s supposed to be on my side anyway. She’s my friend. How dare she go against what I feel?!”

Then, during my morning meditation the next day, I started to think about how wonderful it is to have people in my life that aren’t afraid to be brutally honest with me. They will tell me the truth even if it means offending me. I am actually grateful to be connected with honest folks that don’t mind challenging me. I am blessed to have some “You are wrong Brit” people in my life. Because I have learned that it is that type of raw honesty that’s going to help me be real with myself; so that I can get rid of anything weighing me down in order to get to my next level. It is that type of friend that will be there to ensure that I level up.

So many times we are looking for those people that will say “You are always right.” The folks that know we are dead wrong, yet they will lie to us to make us feel better. We tend to want those people that will go along to get along. The people that will tell us what we want to hear, rather than what we need to hear. Not realizing that those types of people are actually holding us back.  They are the ones that are usually comfortable in their mess, so they do all they can to keep us satisfied so that we can keep them company. And honestly, they don’t love or care about us. Because when you love and care about someone, you are honest with them.

“If a friend isn’t pushing you forward, they are holding you back.”

One of my favorite quotes is, “The ugly truth is better than a pretty lie.” The older I get, the more I realize I need that honest-to-God truth. Honesty helps to build character. And whether I totally agree with my friend or not, I’m just glad that she loves and respects me enough to be honest with me. She cared enough to say what I’m sure some others may have been thinking. We need those friends who will be just like the car visor mirror, and help us to look deep inside and see every flaw and blemish that we thought we could hide with the filters of dishonesty, denial, and deception.

It is so important to have friendships that are deeper than gossiping and grabbing a few drinks. More than just social media posts and going out. We need friends that will bring balance and order to our lives.

In order to level up, we need those people who will hold us accountable, and help push and motivate us to do better. We need those people who won’t allow us to stay stuck, and be lazy or complacent. Those people who will tell us when we are falling back into some of our old habits; and then give us ways to recover.

We must have people we can share our fears and aspirations with. The ones who we can tell our business ideas and they have the faith to believe it. People we can share good news about our jobs or intimate relationships, and they not get jealous and start hating. Those friends that refuse to allow us to settle for less than we deserve.

It’s important to have friends that will attend church with you, and pray for you without you having to ask. I’m talking about the ones that won’t just discuss Empire and the Falcons game, but they will also have in-depth conversations about things that are spiritual and life-altering.

You must have friends who know exactly what to say, and also know when to say nothing at all.

Make sure you have that crew that will laugh and cry with you. The ones that will send you random text messages just to see how you’re doing. You need those people that will rearrange their schedules to be there for you, no matter the distance; even when it’s inconvenient for them.

Have friends you can take naps with, or even sit in silence and do nothing with; as well as the ones you talk to about any and every thing for hours at a time. You need people that will invite you to brunch, and pick up the tab. It’s good to have friends that will go see the midnight showing of the new Hunger Games movie, and travel around the world with you. And let’s not forget the ones that will not only work-out with you, but they will also help you meal prep.

Be thankful for the ones who will encourage you to budget, and help you develop vision boards for your life plans. You need those friends that will cheer you on, and celebrate your accomplishments.

Be sure to have those friends who support your life goals, and believe in your dreams. You need friends who you can look up too. Those positive influences who are inspirations to your life, and make you want to level up.

Surround yourself with people who make you a better person. And the next time you are in the presence of those friends, whether it be 2 or 10, be sure to tell each of them thank you. Make sure they know that you appreciate them for forcing you to level up; and that you are grateful for all that they add to your life.

~B.

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Flock Together!

/ britjames10 / 7 Comments

“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” (Proverbs 27:17)

Whoop, there it is!

This is another one of those scriptures that holds us accountable to one another. Just as friends can be bad influences, they can and should be good influences. I read a quote that said, “Surround yourself with people who are only going to lift you higher.” Link up with people who are going to push you to do better, people who don’t mind challenging your way of thinking. Many times we choose to hang around people that we feel superior too. We pick friends that are always looking to us for the answers. We do those things because we enjoy being needed. We enjoy being the top dog, and the “President of the Clique.” We enjoy being the smartest one in the group. However, is that considered a healthy friendship? No, it’s not.

“Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.”

Friends feed off of each other. We must hang around people who are like-minded. Our friends don’t necessarily have to have the exact same goals or dreams; however, they do need to possess the same drive and passion when it comes to advancing to the next step. We need friends who are strong when we are weak, friends that don’t mind lifting us up when we’re experiencing a low place. We need friends that are smarter than us, we are not experts in everything; and being able to reach out to someone close to you for a solution is definitely a plus. Connect with people who have been there, done that and have the key chain and t-shirt to prove it. As friends we must be able to cheer each other on as we are making progress. If you hang around people who lack ambition, eventually your fire will begin to die down. However, if you hang around people who know how to make a plan and then execute it, then you will begin to do the same. “Surround yourself with people who reflect who you want to be and how you want to feel, energies are contagious!”

If you see a friend drowning, you would call for help, throw them a buoy, or better yet you would jump in and save them. Bottom line, you would do something. The same thing should apply when it comes to telling the truth. Truth is. . . sometimes the truth hurts, and most of the times we push honest people away. However, we must be friends with people who don’t mind putting us in check. Even if that means making us mad. You can’t be afraid to lose a friend because of the truth. If a friend walks out of your life because you were honest, then it was just their time to go. “The ugly truth is better than a pretty lie.” So many times in our friendship circles, we do each other a disservice because we won’t tell the truth; even about the smallest things. If the outfit doesn’t fit my body type, tell me. If my hair is looking busted, tell me. If I’m ashy, musty, crusty, tell me. If my Facebook status was out of line, tell me. If the picture I posted on Instagram made me look desperate, tell me. If I said something that hit below the belt and it hurt you, tell me. Just be honest. When I am wrong, let me know. . .don’t let me drown!

Accountability is a must. True friends bring out the best in each other. We need those friends that will check on us, and double-check on us to make sure we’re doing what we should be doing. We need those friends who refuse to celebrate in our weaknesses. We need those friends who won’t attend our unnecessary pity-parties. Those friends that will remind us of the goals we set, and that will commit to getting us there even when we don’t want to go. We need those friends to remind us of our new healthy lifestyle, and refuse to let us eat more than one slice of turtle cheesecake. We need those friends who refuse to let us settle for less than we deserve. Those friends who will not let us wallow in our mess. Those friends that won’t let us dwell on our past mistakes, instead they give us tips on how to move forward. We must be responsible for each other. We must look out for one another. We need to keep each other grounded. We need to keep each other focused.

You need friends that have your best interest at heart. You need friends that will pray for you without you having to ask them too, and vice versa. You need friends who will make wise decisions, and who will encourage you to do the same. You must surround yourself with people who inspire you. Connect with people who will push you to be the best version of you. Remember, “birds of a feather flock together.” Your friends are directly linked to your future; if your friends are the bomb.com, then you will be too!

~B.

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