Change

Live Your Best Life

/ britjames10 / 6 Comments

“Life loves the liver of it. You must live and life will be good to you.” – Dr. Maya Angelou

The year 2017, with all its twists & turns, excitement and surprises, taught me one valuable life lesson, I have absolutely no more time to waste time.

Say this with me: There is no more time to waste time.

When some of my friends and I declared that 2018 would be the year of Reclaiming Our Time, I meant that down in my soul. I made a promise to myself, that for the rest of my life, every thing I do will be intentional. Every single thing, no matter how big or small, will be purposeful and beneficial.

We must remember that life is but a vapor, and that the only thing in life that is constant, is change. If it doesn’t serve you a purpose, let it go. If it isn’t adding any value to your life, cut it. If it isn’t bringing you any peace, and all you’re feeling is negativity, release it. If the people in your life aren’t pushing you forward, they are holding you back, set them free too.

Know this, no matter what season you’re in, no matter how old or young you are, no matter what setbacks you may be experiencing, it is truly possible to reclaim your time, and start living your best life. As long as you’re prepared to receive, you can take full advantage of all life has to offer.

That trip, book it.
That class, take it.
That house, buy it.
That dream, live it.
That book, write it.
That event, plan it.
That project, start it.
That job, apply for it.
That organization, join it.
That vision, make it plain.
Your time, reclaim it.

We have to be willing to take the necessary steps towards the life that we want. And yes, there will be some challenges, however, we must be careful not to let our own complacency, or “fear of the unknown” hinder us and cause us to sit on the sidelines while life is happening. I also want to encourage you, to not give other people the permission to dictate what living your best life is. Sometimes we allow the people in our lives to place us in a box; and most of the times they are unknowingly preventing us from reaching our fullest potential.

Ignore the negative opinions and stay away from the pessimists; surround yourself with positivity and live your BEST life!

January’s Affirmation: I release my attachment to everything that no longer serves me. I refuse to let anything or anyone hold me back!

~B.

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New Faces

/ britjames10 / 5 Comments

 “Sometimes the people whom we’ve known for only a short amount of time have a bigger impact on us than those we’ve known forever.”

A couple of months ago, I journeyed to a new country with some new faces, and had the time of my life! Everything was so fun, easy-going, and chill. There was no drama, no complaining. I mean, I almost felt like these faces were not new after all because of how well things went. That’s even true for a group of women at the church I attend; every Sunday for the past couple of years, and I do mean every Sunday, about 7 of us literally laugh and talk about everything under the sun after service until they kick us out. And to be honest, I have sometimes felt more genuineness from these new faces than I do some of my old faces. Spending that short amount of time with different people once a week and even on vacation helped me to appreciate the wonderful people in my life; however, it also made me reevaluate some of the old faces that have been around for years.

Those experiences, along with a conversation with one of my friends definitely changed my perspective as it pertains to making new connections. Mainly because most of my leisure experiences usually include very familiar faces, and I also thought that my “making friends’ stage” of life was pretty much over and done with. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Now I’m not saying that I’m going to call everyone in my life, and tell them that they’ve been replaced; because I do have some amazing people who I am connected to. However, I am finally accepting that sometimes you just need to change and/or expand your circle. Actually, I want to encourage everyone I know to either change or expand their circle as often as they see fit. I just believe that there is so much you can gain from healthy connections. And so what if you’ve only known this new face for a short amount of time, if they are contributing to your growth, then they should be added to your life with open arms; and those who aren’t should be dropped off.

A wise woman I know always says, “Your network is your net worth.” Meaning: We are truly the sum of the people that we have in our lives, and the ones that we choose to spend our time with. This is why we must always do a circle check, and make the necessary changes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with readjusting, because truthfully some of the old faces that we are trying so hard to keep around were just supposed to be in our lives temporarily.

We will end up avoiding so many obstacles, if we just stop spending so much precious time and energy on seasonal people. Giving out and pouring out, pouring out and giving out, and end up getting nothing in return. Wasting our time; and time is something that we can’t get back. We have to learn how to literally place people where they need to be in our lives. I expressed to my home-girl that entering another decade has definitely changed my perspective on a lot of things; especially relationships. When someone’s expiration date has arrived, I will start to do what’s necessary to close that door. Because it’s now time for me to start making room for some new faces.

My advice to you is to do the same. As we come to the end of this year, and 2017 resolutions are being drafted and vision boards are being created; start to take inventory of the faces in your life. Are they actually helping you to become a better person? Are they pushing you to reach your highest potential? Seriously ask yourself: Are these undercover haters or motivators? Do they discourage you or inspire you? Are they growing or standing still? What are they actually contributing to your life?

Life is too short, and time is too valuable to be spent on people that aren’t adding anything of significance to you. I’m not saying go fire all of your old faces, I’m just advising you to take a closer look at them. It may also be time for you to close some doors, and make room for some new faces.

“There are times when God has to change your circle, in order to change your life.”

~B.

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Move In Silence

/ britjames10 / 11 Comments

A lot of times we miss out on our open doors, opportunities, and blessings because we speak way too soon.

I’m going to give some very simple advice: If you have a couple of trustworthy friends or family members in your life, share your good news with them, and be done with it until the time is right. Speaking too soon, or better yet, posting too soon can sometimes be detrimental. Mainly because sometimes people are just sitting back waiting on something to go wrong for you. Believe it or not, they aren’t praying for your success. They aren’t hoping for the best. They are literally standing by with their cell phones ready to record and screenshot your downfall. Some people are content with you doing well, just not better than them.

The quicker we realize that everyone isn’t in our corner, and that everyone doesn’t have our best interest at heart, the easier it will be to practice moving in silence.

This year, I was faced with a couple of difficult situations, and I’ve also had quite a few awesome things happen to me in 2016, however, I was able to keep all of it within my circle, and to be honest it felt really good. I felt secure because we were all on the same page. I’m so glad I don’t have to participate in the social media resolutions about cutting people off, and not taking certain people into 2017. Because in 2016, I can truly say that my trust hasn’t been betrayed. There were experiences that I was very happy to share, while there were some victories that I wanted to hold close. I made the decision to start to be more aware, and intentional about the things I share. Learning to move in silence wasn’t the easiest thing to do; I’m glad I learned how though.

Everything isn’t meant to be shared with everybody.

If you made the mistake of over sharing in 2016, try to do things a little different in 2017. Try to lean more on your support system, especially when you just want to bounce ideas around. Even doctors suggest that newly pregnant women wait until the first trimester is over before they share the good news; mainly because so many things can happen within the first stages of pregnancy.

So if you are waiting on a college acceptance letter, going back to school for another degree, about to purchase a house, waiting on some test scores, pending a promotion, ending a toxic relationship, going on an interview for a new career path, considering a move to a new city, thinking about asking your lady for her hand in marriage, quitting your job, following your dreams, getting a side hustle, launching a new business, and you just can’t keep the excitement to yourself, I suggest that you look within your circle, and just find a few people you trust to  share your thoughts and excitement with until it’s official.  

Remember, timing is everything. Talking too much, moving too fast or prematurely can cause unnecessary issues; and that’s usually because you can be placed in a position to be swayed by other people’s unwanted questions, advice, and opinions. There are also some people who really do love and care about us, however, because they are filled with their own personal fears and doubts, they sometimes unintentionally discourage us from fully carrying out our plans and achieving our goals.

When the right time comes, you will be completely ready to share all of the wonderful news with the world. In 2017, I encourage you to save yourself some trouble by staying focused on your to-do list, and moving in silence.

“Don’t announce the move before it’s made. They’ll see it when you get there.”

~B.

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Just Shut-Up and Work!

/ britjames10 / 4 Comments

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.” ~Maya Angelou

The beginning of spring has been pretty eventful. So many things have been happening in my life, from working 12.5 hour days, to personal drama, to forgetting important things, I felt as though I had way too much going on; like I was about to explode. It’s like everything was just running together. However because I’m the Queen of multi-tasking, I didn’t understand why I was feeling so overwhelmed because honestly, I’m used to having a lot of things happening at the same time.

For about 3 weeks, I was surrounded by a whole bunch of people and a whole lot of noise, however I felt very defeated and alone. I was frustrated because I couldn’t seem to get enough rest. I was aggravated because I felt like the people in my inner circle didn’t seem to try to understand what was going on with me. I wasn’t eating right, so of course that made me hangry. I had to put out fires because some people who I depended on didn’t come through and insisted on playing the blame game. No one wanted to take responsibility, so I automatically felt like it was my fault. My allergies were acting up, I couldn’t stop sneezing. The 1st Annual Wonder Girl Weekend is drawing near, and not only am I chairing the planning committee, I will also be one of the presenters at the summit. Oh, and let’s not forget that I am right in the middle of planning a wedding celebration, and that is a very detailed process all together.

And because of all that was going on, I found myself feeling like I was suffocating. Like I was drowning, and every time I came up for air, it’s like something else would happen.

And honestly, during those moments. . .every time I tried to pray for myself, or just meditate, it’s like I couldn’t because I would just be whining and complaining. If you know me, then you already know that that’s not how I roll, I don’t like to whine. I don’t like excuses. But that’s all I was offering up to God. “God they don’t understand me.” “God change this situation.” “God, why does it have to be this way?” “God, don’t they know I’m tired!” “God can’t they see that I’m trying.” No praises. No thanksgiving. No grateful heart. I was pretty much rejecting the very tasks that God had placed before me. I didn’t even bother to ask Him for the strength and the wisdom to overcome, I just kept complaining.

And then I heard His voice as clear as ever, “Shut-up and do the work.”

God checked me. He reminded me that this work is exactly what I was created for. This work is helping me to fulfill my purpose on this earth. I was created to give of myself daily. I am a service provider, a change agent. My personal mission is to help change the world. This work is going to ensure that my living won’t be in vain, so how dare I continue to complain? It hit me hard, and I immediately felt the conviction. I repented, and I reminded myself that this is the life that I asked God for.  I told Him a long time ago that I would do all I can, while I can because when I leave this world, I want to be emptied of everything He placed inside of me. I don’t want to leave this earth with dreams and visions and goals and purpose still locked up inside of me. My dash (1986 – ____) will mean something!

I had to immediately change my attitude and my perspective.

Now let me help you: Blaming everyone else will not solve anything. We cannot afford to waste energy worrying about the people in our lives, that we love so dearly, not fully understanding all the moving pieces; we must know and trust that they’ll get it soon enough. We can’t waste time trying to make everyone have the same work ethic as we do; we have to be confident that once they see the train moving that they will come aboard. We can’t have a melt down just because someone doesn’t share the same drive or passion as we do; we just have to continue to lead by example with the hopes that we will influence them in a positive way. We can’t get bent out of shape because people don’t think like us, they don’t have the same mindset; as my mom used to always say, it takes all kinds of people to make up the world. We have to remind ourselves that the Creator of the Universe is working on our behalf. He knows exactly what He’s doing, and who He’s doing it with. I always tell people that life is more like a game of chess and not checkers; and God is the Chess Master. Every move is strategic and deliberate, we just have to do our part, remain patient, and trust the process.

Just a month or so ago, I wrote about being Susie Sunshine and seeing the Light in all situations; and I was tested on that very thing. I am grateful to God for the will to do this type of work; serving His people brings the joy and the fulfillment that I need in my life. There is no amount of money that could ever compare to what I feel on the inside. I thank Him for the gift that He has given me. I am grateful for the opportunity to be able to impact the lives of young people. And over the years I have learned that the more grateful I am, the more opportunities He gives me. Every time we show God our appreciation for our gifts and talents, He will always open more doors. That’s how it works, and we must remember that every time we have the urge to complain.

Gratefulness opens doors, complaining closes them.

I’ll admit I had a very weak moment, and we all do; but the way we come back from those weak moments is what’s most important. We have to remember that there are people watching us; people who are literally following our lead. They are waiting to see how we respond and react under the pressure of difficult situations and circumstances; from what we say, to our attitude and body language, even down to our posts on social media. There are people in our paths that each of us are responsible for, and accountable too whether we want to be or not.

I want to encourage you to place your vision in front of you as a constant reminder of your purpose. No matter what comes, no matter how hard it gets, just shut-up and do the work! We would hate to see someone else finish what we’ve started because we refused to see it through; but that’s exactly what will happen, just ask the children of Israel. There’s no way in the world I would’ve wandered in the wilderness for that long only to die in the wilderness and never see the promised land. . . all because I had an attitude and wouldn’t stop whining?! (Numbers 14:14-30) It’s just that serious though. There will always be someone willing and able to replace you; just ask King Saul (1 Samuel 16:1-23.) Remember, the show must go on.

Hold on to your assignment, and know that everything (the good, the bad, the ugly) is working together for your good. Keep your eyes fixed on the destiny you must fulfill.

~B.

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.” (Romans 8:28)

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