Encouragement

Live Your Best Life

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“Life loves the liver of it. You must live and life will be good to you.” – Dr. Maya Angelou

The year 2017, with all its twists & turns, excitement and surprises, taught me one valuable life lesson, I have absolutely no more time to waste time.

Say this with me: There is no more time to waste time.

When some of my friends and I declared that 2018 would be the year of Reclaiming Our Time, I meant that down in my soul. I made a promise to myself, that for the rest of my life, every thing I do will be intentional. Every single thing, no matter how big or small, will be purposeful and beneficial.

We must remember that life is but a vapor, and that the only thing in life that is constant, is change. If it doesn’t serve you a purpose, let it go. If it isn’t adding any value to your life, cut it. If it isn’t bringing you any peace, and all you’re feeling is negativity, release it. If the people in your life aren’t pushing you forward, they are holding you back, set them free too.

Know this, no matter what season you’re in, no matter how old or young you are, no matter what setbacks you may be experiencing, it is truly possible to reclaim your time, and start living your best life. As long as you’re prepared to receive, you can take full advantage of all life has to offer.

That trip, book it.
That class, take it.
That house, buy it.
That dream, live it.
That book, write it.
That event, plan it.
That project, start it.
That job, apply for it.
That organization, join it.
That vision, make it plain.
Your time, reclaim it.

We have to be willing to take the necessary steps towards the life that we want. And yes, there will be some challenges, however, we must be careful not to let our own complacency, or “fear of the unknown” hinder us and cause us to sit on the sidelines while life is happening. I also want to encourage you, to not give other people the permission to dictate what living your best life is. Sometimes we allow the people in our lives to place us in a box; and most of the times they are unknowingly preventing us from reaching our fullest potential.

Ignore the negative opinions and stay away from the pessimists; surround yourself with positivity and live your BEST life!

January’s Affirmation: I release my attachment to everything that no longer serves me. I refuse to let anything or anyone hold me back!

~B.

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New Faces

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 “Sometimes the people whom we’ve known for only a short amount of time have a bigger impact on us than those we’ve known forever.”

A couple of months ago, I journeyed to a new country with some new faces, and had the time of my life! Everything was so fun, easy-going, and chill. There was no drama, no complaining. I mean, I almost felt like these faces were not new after all because of how well things went. That’s even true for a group of women at the church I attend; every Sunday for the past couple of years, and I do mean every Sunday, about 7 of us literally laugh and talk about everything under the sun after service until they kick us out. And to be honest, I have sometimes felt more genuineness from these new faces than I do some of my old faces. Spending that short amount of time with different people once a week and even on vacation helped me to appreciate the wonderful people in my life; however, it also made me reevaluate some of the old faces that have been around for years.

Those experiences, along with a conversation with one of my friends definitely changed my perspective as it pertains to making new connections. Mainly because most of my leisure experiences usually include very familiar faces, and I also thought that my “making friends’ stage” of life was pretty much over and done with. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Now I’m not saying that I’m going to call everyone in my life, and tell them that they’ve been replaced; because I do have some amazing people who I am connected to. However, I am finally accepting that sometimes you just need to change and/or expand your circle. Actually, I want to encourage everyone I know to either change or expand their circle as often as they see fit. I just believe that there is so much you can gain from healthy connections. And so what if you’ve only known this new face for a short amount of time, if they are contributing to your growth, then they should be added to your life with open arms; and those who aren’t should be dropped off.

A wise woman I know always says, “Your network is your net worth.” Meaning: We are truly the sum of the people that we have in our lives, and the ones that we choose to spend our time with. This is why we must always do a circle check, and make the necessary changes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with readjusting, because truthfully some of the old faces that we are trying so hard to keep around were just supposed to be in our lives temporarily.

We will end up avoiding so many obstacles, if we just stop spending so much precious time and energy on seasonal people. Giving out and pouring out, pouring out and giving out, and end up getting nothing in return. Wasting our time; and time is something that we can’t get back. We have to learn how to literally place people where they need to be in our lives. I expressed to my home-girl that entering another decade has definitely changed my perspective on a lot of things; especially relationships. When someone’s expiration date has arrived, I will start to do what’s necessary to close that door. Because it’s now time for me to start making room for some new faces.

My advice to you is to do the same. As we come to the end of this year, and 2017 resolutions are being drafted and vision boards are being created; start to take inventory of the faces in your life. Are they actually helping you to become a better person? Are they pushing you to reach your highest potential? Seriously ask yourself: Are these undercover haters or motivators? Do they discourage you or inspire you? Are they growing or standing still? What are they actually contributing to your life?

Life is too short, and time is too valuable to be spent on people that aren’t adding anything of significance to you. I’m not saying go fire all of your old faces, I’m just advising you to take a closer look at them. It may also be time for you to close some doors, and make room for some new faces.

“There are times when God has to change your circle, in order to change your life.”

~B.

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Move In Silence

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A lot of times we miss out on our open doors, opportunities, and blessings because we speak way too soon.

I’m going to give some very simple advice: If you have a couple of trustworthy friends or family members in your life, share your good news with them, and be done with it until the time is right. Speaking too soon, or better yet, posting too soon can sometimes be detrimental. Mainly because sometimes people are just sitting back waiting on something to go wrong for you. Believe it or not, they aren’t praying for your success. They aren’t hoping for the best. They are literally standing by with their cell phones ready to record and screenshot your downfall. Some people are content with you doing well, just not better than them.

The quicker we realize that everyone isn’t in our corner, and that everyone doesn’t have our best interest at heart, the easier it will be to practice moving in silence.

This year, I was faced with a couple of difficult situations, and I’ve also had quite a few awesome things happen to me in 2016, however, I was able to keep all of it within my circle, and to be honest it felt really good. I felt secure because we were all on the same page. I’m so glad I don’t have to participate in the social media resolutions about cutting people off, and not taking certain people into 2017. Because in 2016, I can truly say that my trust hasn’t been betrayed. There were experiences that I was very happy to share, while there were some victories that I wanted to hold close. I made the decision to start to be more aware, and intentional about the things I share. Learning to move in silence wasn’t the easiest thing to do; I’m glad I learned how though.

Everything isn’t meant to be shared with everybody.

If you made the mistake of over sharing in 2016, try to do things a little different in 2017. Try to lean more on your support system, especially when you just want to bounce ideas around. Even doctors suggest that newly pregnant women wait until the first trimester is over before they share the good news; mainly because so many things can happen within the first stages of pregnancy.

So if you are waiting on a college acceptance letter, going back to school for another degree, about to purchase a house, waiting on some test scores, pending a promotion, ending a toxic relationship, going on an interview for a new career path, considering a move to a new city, thinking about asking your lady for her hand in marriage, quitting your job, following your dreams, getting a side hustle, launching a new business, and you just can’t keep the excitement to yourself, I suggest that you look within your circle, and just find a few people you trust to  share your thoughts and excitement with until it’s official.  

Remember, timing is everything. Talking too much, moving too fast or prematurely can cause unnecessary issues; and that’s usually because you can be placed in a position to be swayed by other people’s unwanted questions, advice, and opinions. There are also some people who really do love and care about us, however, because they are filled with their own personal fears and doubts, they sometimes unintentionally discourage us from fully carrying out our plans and achieving our goals.

When the right time comes, you will be completely ready to share all of the wonderful news with the world. In 2017, I encourage you to save yourself some trouble by staying focused on your to-do list, and moving in silence.

“Don’t announce the move before it’s made. They’ll see it when you get there.”

~B.

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The Next Big Thing

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One evening, I was talking to my mentee and she asked me a question about Palm Sunday. I gave her the whole story about the “Triumphal Entry” and how everyone was so excited to see Jesus coming into town, so they took Palm branches and they began waving them as they worshipped Him shouting, “Hosanna to the Son of David” but within just a few days, their Hosannas would change to cries of “Crucify Him.” Those who glorified Him as a hero would soon reject and abandon Him.

Wait. “Those who glorified Him as a Hero would soon reject and abandon Him.” Wow, He was crucified by the same people who were just praising Him.

So then I started to think on that, and I applied it to today’s time..

In certain situations, it is usually the people who aren’t the closest to us that usually began to pat us on the back first. In some cases, it is usually the strangers that immediately start to support us, and root for our success, while secretly the people who claim to be in our corner, the people who KNOW us are wishing for our downfall. 

Think about Jesus and how he rode in at the beginning of the week (Matthew 21) and everybody was singing His praises “Go Jesus, Go Jesus, GO;” however by the end of the week (Matthew 27) not only were those same people saying “crucify Him,” but one of his disciples, betrayed Him and another one of His closest disciples turned his back on Him by denying Him. I can only imagine what He must have felt like during the moment when He was at His lowest. The people who He called friend were nowhere to be found. Isn’t it funny how people just switch up on you like that? Ok, maybe it’s not funny … but I’ve always wondered how and why as people, we’re able to do that with such ease. That is the main reason why we can’t get so caught up in the praises of others that we start living off of them, because if people would turn their backs and betray Jesus, the Savior of the world, imagine what they would do to us. We have to be careful because when those praises stop, and believe me they will, it will have a negative impact on us. I read a quote that said: “If you live off a man’s compliments, you’ll die from his criticism.”

Switching gears ..2015..

We live in a time where people tend to flock to whatever is popular, whatever is poppin, and whoever is riding into town in the candy apple red Ferrari, they want to associate themselves with the next big thing. It’s kind of like a kid at Christmas time, they receive these expensive, shining new toys, and they will play with them for a few days, but as soon as the new year rolls around, and the newness wears off they are usually no longer interested in the toys that they just received; they hear people at school talking about the new (NEW) toys, so they immediately start to want something else. I’m here to tell you, people are just like that. We like to watch the new television shows, and shop at the new stores, and try the new products and dine at the new restaurants, and attend the new churches with the new Pastors, but after a while when the momentum dies down, we tend to be on the lookout for what’s coming next.

That is why we have to be sure that people are not putting us so high up on a pedestal that they start to worship us like we are a god when they think we are “the next big thing.” Because not only is allowing others to “worship” you a very dangerous place to be put in, but people will discard you once the newness wears off. We must place God in the front of us because He is the one that opened the door and made the opportunity possible. Remain humble and always point people to God; instruct them to look up. I know that in the moment, the extra love and the palm branches may really boost the ego and make you feel all good on the inside; however we must be mindful of our purpose and our assignment. We must remember to be thankful to the one that equipped us with our gifts and talents, and remind others to do the same. Because what are you going to do when you stop hearing all of those, “good jobs” and “way to go’s” or when those pats on the back don’t come as often? What are you going to do when people start criticizing you or questioning you? What are you going to do when your family and your close friends become skeptical and don’t sing your praises to others? Is that going to slow you down? Are you going to allow discouragement to creep in? Are you going to stop working towards your destiny? Are you going to just forget your purpose? Are you going to abort your mission? Or are you going to encourage yourself, pat your own self on the back and keep it moving.

Believe me; I know it’s easy to get caught up in all the excitement of people giving you a round of applause, however just remember that it is just as easy to get bummed out and knocked off course when the people around you take a break. It’s easy to get discouraged when all of the noise dies down, and people move on to the next hot trend. That is why we must be Purpose Driven and not People Driven.

For it is much better to be brought down by people, and exalted by God; than it is for God to knock you down like Humpty Dumpty and people try and try to put you back together again.

I truly believe that those times of silence are God ordained. I believe He orchestrates those moments for us to remain humble and focused on the task at hand. He doesn’t want us fully relying on others because He is the Source. He is the one that we should be striving to please, not people. I feel that in those instances God is trying to teach us something. I believe He is testing us to see if the crowd goes away will we still do His will. When people stop posting about us on social media, will we still use our gifts and talents to do what’s right. When our support system breaks down, and our friends get to busy to encourage us, will we find a way to continue to move forward. Just as Jesus had to go through the highs and lows of being praised and then being rejected in order to complete His assignment, we must be prepared to do the same thing. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for Jesus, and I’m sure it was difficult for Him to accept that some of the people He thought had His back would be the very ones to turn their backs on Him; however He knew that He had a greater task at hand. He knew His purpose and what He had to do in order to fulfill it.

We must remember, people will change like the wind however God is consistent; He will never fail us. He wants the very best for His children. Let us not get caught up in the hype because remember, the yays can become nays in the matter of a few chapters, or should I say a few days. (Matthew ch. 21 & 27)

Yes, I know it feels good, and honestly, motivation and encouragement can be helpful to us; so please be sure to tell people Thank You and let them know you appreciate them for the nice compliments and gestures. However let’s be sure to honor the Gift Giver and encourage others to do the same. Let us continue to talk to Him, and build ourselves up with His word. Just as we work on our physical bodies by eating right and going to the gym to exercise, we must continue to work on our inner-selves by reading the Word, communicating with Him, seeking Him for direction, and surrounding ourselves with honest people who want what’s best for us.

Be sure to work for a cause, and not for the applause.

I want to encourage you to find your purpose and commit to working towards it whether you have a crowd of people to cheer you on or not. Don’t concern yourself with how fast others are running their race: Allow God to set your pace, so that when the time comes He can place you on a platform for the world to see; let Him promote you. Don’t allow doubt or negativity to bring you down, and get you off focus: Allow Him to prepare a table before you in the presence of your naysayers; let Him elevate you. Don’t get so caught up in the “likes” on social media: Allow God to go before you and make your paths straight, so that you will be ready to walk in the open doors that will bring you before important people in the “Real World.” Be steadfast, and allow Him to make you The Next Big Thing. (Luke 14:11 AMP)

~B.

“Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, so that at the proper time he may exalt you.” (1 Peter 5:6)

 

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