Growth

Live Your Best Life

/ britjames10 / 6 Comments

“Life loves the liver of it. You must live and life will be good to you.” – Dr. Maya Angelou

The year 2017, with all its twists & turns, excitement and surprises, taught me one valuable life lesson, I have absolutely no more time to waste time.

Say this with me: There is no more time to waste time.

When some of my friends and I declared that 2018 would be the year of Reclaiming Our Time, I meant that down in my soul. I made a promise to myself, that for the rest of my life, every thing I do will be intentional. Every single thing, no matter how big or small, will be purposeful and beneficial.

We must remember that life is but a vapor, and that the only thing in life that is constant, is change. If it doesn’t serve you a purpose, let it go. If it isn’t adding any value to your life, cut it. If it isn’t bringing you any peace, and all you’re feeling is negativity, release it. If the people in your life aren’t pushing you forward, they are holding you back, set them free too.

Know this, no matter what season you’re in, no matter how old or young you are, no matter what setbacks you may be experiencing, it is truly possible to reclaim your time, and start living your best life. As long as you’re prepared to receive, you can take full advantage of all life has to offer.

That trip, book it.
That class, take it.
That house, buy it.
That dream, live it.
That book, write it.
That event, plan it.
That project, start it.
That job, apply for it.
That organization, join it.
That vision, make it plain.
Your time, reclaim it.

We have to be willing to take the necessary steps towards the life that we want. And yes, there will be some challenges, however, we must be careful not to let our own complacency, or “fear of the unknown” hinder us and cause us to sit on the sidelines while life is happening. I also want to encourage you, to not give other people the permission to dictate what living your best life is. Sometimes we allow the people in our lives to place us in a box; and most of the times they are unknowingly preventing us from reaching our fullest potential.

Ignore the negative opinions and stay away from the pessimists; surround yourself with positivity and live your BEST life!

January’s Affirmation: I release my attachment to everything that no longer serves me. I refuse to let anything or anyone hold me back!

~B.

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New Faces

/ britjames10 / 5 Comments

 “Sometimes the people whom we’ve known for only a short amount of time have a bigger impact on us than those we’ve known forever.”

A couple of months ago, I journeyed to a new country with some new faces, and had the time of my life! Everything was so fun, easy-going, and chill. There was no drama, no complaining. I mean, I almost felt like these faces were not new after all because of how well things went. That’s even true for a group of women at the church I attend; every Sunday for the past couple of years, and I do mean every Sunday, about 7 of us literally laugh and talk about everything under the sun after service until they kick us out. And to be honest, I have sometimes felt more genuineness from these new faces than I do some of my old faces. Spending that short amount of time with different people once a week and even on vacation helped me to appreciate the wonderful people in my life; however, it also made me reevaluate some of the old faces that have been around for years.

Those experiences, along with a conversation with one of my friends definitely changed my perspective as it pertains to making new connections. Mainly because most of my leisure experiences usually include very familiar faces, and I also thought that my “making friends’ stage” of life was pretty much over and done with. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Now I’m not saying that I’m going to call everyone in my life, and tell them that they’ve been replaced; because I do have some amazing people who I am connected to. However, I am finally accepting that sometimes you just need to change and/or expand your circle. Actually, I want to encourage everyone I know to either change or expand their circle as often as they see fit. I just believe that there is so much you can gain from healthy connections. And so what if you’ve only known this new face for a short amount of time, if they are contributing to your growth, then they should be added to your life with open arms; and those who aren’t should be dropped off.

A wise woman I know always says, “Your network is your net worth.” Meaning: We are truly the sum of the people that we have in our lives, and the ones that we choose to spend our time with. This is why we must always do a circle check, and make the necessary changes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with readjusting, because truthfully some of the old faces that we are trying so hard to keep around were just supposed to be in our lives temporarily.

We will end up avoiding so many obstacles, if we just stop spending so much precious time and energy on seasonal people. Giving out and pouring out, pouring out and giving out, and end up getting nothing in return. Wasting our time; and time is something that we can’t get back. We have to learn how to literally place people where they need to be in our lives. I expressed to my home-girl that entering another decade has definitely changed my perspective on a lot of things; especially relationships. When someone’s expiration date has arrived, I will start to do what’s necessary to close that door. Because it’s now time for me to start making room for some new faces.

My advice to you is to do the same. As we come to the end of this year, and 2017 resolutions are being drafted and vision boards are being created; start to take inventory of the faces in your life. Are they actually helping you to become a better person? Are they pushing you to reach your highest potential? Seriously ask yourself: Are these undercover haters or motivators? Do they discourage you or inspire you? Are they growing or standing still? What are they actually contributing to your life?

Life is too short, and time is too valuable to be spent on people that aren’t adding anything of significance to you. I’m not saying go fire all of your old faces, I’m just advising you to take a closer look at them. It may also be time for you to close some doors, and make room for some new faces.

“There are times when God has to change your circle, in order to change your life.”

~B.

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Move In Silence

/ britjames10 / 11 Comments

A lot of times we miss out on our open doors, opportunities, and blessings because we speak way too soon.

I’m going to give some very simple advice: If you have a couple of trustworthy friends or family members in your life, share your good news with them, and be done with it until the time is right. Speaking too soon, or better yet, posting too soon can sometimes be detrimental. Mainly because sometimes people are just sitting back waiting on something to go wrong for you. Believe it or not, they aren’t praying for your success. They aren’t hoping for the best. They are literally standing by with their cell phones ready to record and screenshot your downfall. Some people are content with you doing well, just not better than them.

The quicker we realize that everyone isn’t in our corner, and that everyone doesn’t have our best interest at heart, the easier it will be to practice moving in silence.

This year, I was faced with a couple of difficult situations, and I’ve also had quite a few awesome things happen to me in 2016, however, I was able to keep all of it within my circle, and to be honest it felt really good. I felt secure because we were all on the same page. I’m so glad I don’t have to participate in the social media resolutions about cutting people off, and not taking certain people into 2017. Because in 2016, I can truly say that my trust hasn’t been betrayed. There were experiences that I was very happy to share, while there were some victories that I wanted to hold close. I made the decision to start to be more aware, and intentional about the things I share. Learning to move in silence wasn’t the easiest thing to do; I’m glad I learned how though.

Everything isn’t meant to be shared with everybody.

If you made the mistake of over sharing in 2016, try to do things a little different in 2017. Try to lean more on your support system, especially when you just want to bounce ideas around. Even doctors suggest that newly pregnant women wait until the first trimester is over before they share the good news; mainly because so many things can happen within the first stages of pregnancy.

So if you are waiting on a college acceptance letter, going back to school for another degree, about to purchase a house, waiting on some test scores, pending a promotion, ending a toxic relationship, going on an interview for a new career path, considering a move to a new city, thinking about asking your lady for her hand in marriage, quitting your job, following your dreams, getting a side hustle, launching a new business, and you just can’t keep the excitement to yourself, I suggest that you look within your circle, and just find a few people you trust to  share your thoughts and excitement with until it’s official.  

Remember, timing is everything. Talking too much, moving too fast or prematurely can cause unnecessary issues; and that’s usually because you can be placed in a position to be swayed by other people’s unwanted questions, advice, and opinions. There are also some people who really do love and care about us, however, because they are filled with their own personal fears and doubts, they sometimes unintentionally discourage us from fully carrying out our plans and achieving our goals.

When the right time comes, you will be completely ready to share all of the wonderful news with the world. In 2017, I encourage you to save yourself some trouble by staying focused on your to-do list, and moving in silence.

“Don’t announce the move before it’s made. They’ll see it when you get there.”

~B.

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My Passion = My Paycheck

/ britjames10 / 1 Comment

3 years ago … I was going to become a Lawyer, and then a Judge. Rewind <<<

2011 was definitely one of those highs and lows type of years for me. I had a great job. My baby brother joined the military. I ended a relationship. I chopped all of my hair off. I turned 25. My grandfather died from lung cancer. I went sky diving (from 14,000 ft.) I resigned from that great job. I went to Vegas. You see what I’m saying, so much happened in just 12 months.

And then I entered 2012. And with all that had happened, good and bad in 2011, I was determined to make 2012 “My Year.” Turning 25, and entering into the summer stage of my life, I started to view things differently. And for those of you who are not quite 25 reading this, let me go ahead and tell you, turning 25 is a life changing experiencing. It’s different from 16, 18, or 21. At 25, the world looks different to you, and the world looks at you in a different way.

But anyway, back to 2012… My mom wanted to know what I was going to do next. She wanted to discuss my new game plan. Was I going to go to Graduate School? Was I going to start looking for a new job? And after much thought, I decided that I was going to go to Law School. I went to Books A Million and purchased the LSAT study guide, I went online and registered to take the test, and I began to research schools to attend. My mind was made up and I had mapped out a plan to meet all of my deadlines so that I could enter school in the fall.

And then…BOOM!

My mother, who is my biggest influence, looked at me as I sat on her bed and said, “Britney, I don’t think going to Law School is what you are supposed to do. That’s not your calling. I know you want to practice law and eventually become a Judge, but that’s not your path baby girl. God has something else for you. Just pray about it some more.”  I couldn’t have disagreed with her more. I wanted to be a Judge. I’m really into history and law and politics, so I knew that I would be great at it. And I also knew that I would make a whole bunch of money as Judge Brit James. After that conversation with my mom, I was hurt and disappointed because I really wanted her to agree with my decision 100%, I wanted her to just go along with it. I didn’t want her telling me talk to God, I just wanted her to go visit John Marshall’s School of Law with me.

Later that week, I begin to talk God, I asked Him for guidance and direction as to what I needed to do next. I got over my disappointment with my mom because I knew she just wanted what was best for me. And honestly, she gave me some great advice, “pray about it.” There was a probation officer position opening with the Department of Juvenile Justice in Sumter County, and I immediately thought “Ok, this has to be from God.” Not only did I meet the qualifications: Bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice, 3 years of experience in probation, 85 or above on the state probation officer’s test, the job was in Americus, and on top of that the person that would be doing the hiring was a friend of my mom’s and she’s been knowing me since I was little girl. So, I was like YES, I’m so in there! So I called the state office and got my scores mailed to me, I went online and filled out the application, I got my friend to juice up my resume, I hand delivered my packet to the main office in Muscogee County the day before the deadline, and then I called the family friend to notify her that I completed everything. She then told me that she would check on my application, and that they should be doing interviews within the next week. The day after the deadline to have everything in, that same family friend called me around 7:30 am and said, “Brit I’m sorry, I won’t be able to interview you. You forgot to submit your scores with your application and resume.” I’m like what do you mean??? Ya’ll just can’t look up my stuff online, I passed the test, it was an honest mistake. At that point, there was nothing she could do. Feeling defeated, I called my mom to let her know what happened, and surprisingly she was very calm and she assured me that God had another plan for me.

One of my mom’s customers had given her the Tri-County Journal, and listed in it was a job opening for a Program Manager of a Teen Pregnancy Prevention program. She encouraged me to go ahead and send in my resume, I did, and a few weeks later, I got a call from Michael Ellison to come in for an interview. That interview lasted for about 2 hours, and a few days later I got another call to come in for a second interview with the Director of the program. That interview lasted about 15 minutes and I walked out with the job.

That was 3 years ago! On March 27, 2012, I became the Program Manager for the Marion County office of Swagga & Lace Initiative.

I LOVE what I do. I love the communities that I work in and with. I  LOVE the children that I empower! I would’ve never thought in a million years that I would be getting paid for something that I’m so passionate about. That I would be getting paid for something that I did for free at FMBC for years, actually this is something that I would do for free now. I love young people, and I love that I have the freedom to plant seeds and watch them grow. I enjoy getting to know them and building relationships that will last a lifetime. Over the past 3 years, I’ve had the pleasure of servicing over 300 children in this area. The past 3 years have been the most productive and rewarding years of my life. While working here, I’ve been able to travel to so many different places and network with so many people in this field. I even had the honor of being one of the presenters at the National Youth At-Risk Conference. I have grown so much as a person. These children have literally changed my life. I’ve been blessed to be a blessing. I honestly feel like jobs in the social service field are after God’s own heart, and every day I am grateful to Him for giving me this opportunity to make a positive impact and help change the lives of His children. I truly believe that I am serving Him every time I pour into these young people.

My friends joke me all the time, saying that I don’t work for real, and honestly they are so right, this doesn’t feel like work at all! My Gift made room for me. God is AWESOME; He made my Passion my Paycheck!

I took you through 2011 and the beginning of 2012 to encourage you to trust God and His timing. I honestly believe that I would’ve been successful working with the Department of Juvenile Justice, however I would not have been in the Perfect Will of God for my life. Our plans are not His plans. We have to trust and believe that He knows exactly what He is doing with what He created. He chose us. He set us apart. God loves His children, and He wants the absolute best for us. I truly believe that He will blow our minds if we let Him!

  • If you are feeling stuck, talk to God.
  • If you feel as though you are at a stand still, talk to God.
  • If you’re not quite sure of what it is you should be doing, talk to God.
  • If you know what you should be doing, however you don’t know how to make it happen, talk to God.

So many times when we are faced with tough situations, we like to turn to people for the answers. I’ll be the first to admit that even though I give pretty good advice, I am human and that means I don’t have all the answers. However, I know someone who does; God, and He makes no mistakes. So if you want to be in the Perfect Will of God, talk to Him. Everything happens when it’s supposed to happen. We have to trust the timing of God in our lives. As my Bishop always says, “Rejection is just God’s Redirection.” Even when it seems like everything around you is getting out of hand, just remember whose Hand you’re in; He’s got it all under control.

Oh, and Mother knows Best!

~B.

“Before I formed you in your mother’s womb I chose you. Before you were born I set you apart. I appointed you to be a prophet to the nations.” (Jeremiah 1:5)

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My Grass Is Greener

/ britjames10 / 2 Comments

Have you ever looked at a yard and wondered why certain parts of the grass looked brown and tough like it was dead or something, while other parts of the grass looked really green, and thick and full of life?

If you have, good. . .I’m glad I’m not the only one.

This is the thing, everybody wants the fancy award-winning yard with the plush green grass, but let’s be real. . .nobody wants to do what it takes to make that happen. Nobody wants to put in the extra work.

Honest Moment: I used to be one of those people, yep I was there. I was one of those people who felt like if I gave “just enough,” then I should still receive more than enough. And even though I knew I was more than capable of doing better, I would still just do C- work, and expect an A+ grade. Listen, I am so thankful for a renewed mindset because I really almost missed my blessings by trying to stay stuck in that place. Luke 12:48 is a scripture that my mom doesn’t mind sucker punching me with, “…When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.” After reading and re-reading this scripture, it finally started to sink into my inner woman, my grass, and I had to stop whining, pick myself  up, and throw all of my excuses away.

I had to face the harsh reality of the direction that my life was headed if something didn’t change. I had to stop trying to cover up my mistakes, my bad choices, and my short-comings. I had to come to the realization that in order for me to live the full, prosperous, green life, that I desired, some drastic decisions had to be made; and I was the only one that could make those decisions.

So now I able to say, my grass is greener. Yes, I said it. . . my grass is greener. As a matter of fact, it is a whole lot greener than it was a few years ago. And I’m no longer ashamed to show it off because even though my yard is still a work in progress, my Lawn care man worked a miracle and revived those dying parts that had already started to thin out and turn brown.

I read a quote that said, “If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you can bet the water bill is higher.” I am a living witness that, that is a TRUE statement. The sacrifices and the choices that had to be made to get to this point were extremely challenging, however it was worth it. And let’s not exclude the test and the trials, the storm and the rain, that were sent to make my grass greener and stronger. 

I am constantly reminding myself that every decision was necessary. The break-up was necessary. Cutting the ties was necessary. Deleting the number and the text messages was necessary. Walking away from toxic relationships was necessary. The rejection was necessary. Changing my mindset was necessary. An attitude adjustment was necessary. Exercising my self-control was necessary. Fasting and praying was necessary. Drinking more water was necessary. Going to bed on time was necessary. Spending time alone was necessary. Shutting my mouth was necessary. Listening more was necessary. Not spending every penny I earned, and actually saving was necessary. No it wasn’t easy, but those growing pains were necessary. I know without a doubt that it was God who covered me during the “grass growing” moments of my life. He definitely put in some work with me. From the fertilization process to the deep watering, to pulling up the weeds, it took work to get this yard in tip-top shape. The blades were extra sharp, and the constant mowing was painful; but it was necessary. *cues music* “I’m stronger. I ‘m wiser. I ‘m better, much better.”

And the great thing about this is: your grass can be greener too! We must be willing to help ourselves. Because we are given new mercies each day (Lam. 3:22-23), everyday is another opportunity for us to make a change. For us to make some type of progress; for us to make a difference in our own lives. Remember this, “The grass is always greener where you water it.” We have to stop spending so much time being concerned with everybody else’s yard, that we start to neglect our own. You pass by, and you see how great their yard looks, however you have no idea of all the steps that had to take place in order for that to happen. As the saying goes, “You see the Glory, but you don’t know the Story.”

I said all that, to say this: Allow God to care for your yard. Allow Him to deep water yours. Allow Him to pull your weeds and fertilize you. Ask Him to revive the dry places in your life. Note: Remember to be very specific when you ask Him. I won’t tell you that the transition for greener grass is easy because there are some rough patches; however I want to encourage you to allow God to do His work on you and in you . . . the end results are so worth it.

~B.

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” (James 1:2-4)

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