Flock Together!

“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” (Proverbs 27:17)

Whoop, there it is!

This is another one of those scriptures that holds us accountable to one another. Just as friends can be bad influences, they can and should be good influences. I read a quote that said, “Surround yourself with people who are only going to lift you higher.” Link up with people who are going to push you to do better, people who don’t mind challenging your way of thinking. Many times we choose to hang around people that we feel superior too. We pick friends that are always looking to us for the answers. We do those things because we enjoy being needed. We enjoy being the top dog, and the “President of the Clique.” We enjoy being the smartest one in the group. However, is that considered a healthy friendship? No, it’s not.


“Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.”


Friends feed off of each other. We must hang around people who are like-minded. Our friends don’t necessarily have to have the exact same goals or dreams; however, they do need to possess the same drive and passion when it comes to advancing to the next step. We need friends who are strong when we are weak, friends that don’t mind lifting us up when we’re experiencing a low place. We need friends that are smarter than us, we are not experts in everything; and being able to reach out to someone close to you for a solution is definitely a plus. Connect with people who have been there, done that and have the key chain and t-shirt to prove it. As friends we must be able to cheer each other on as we are making progress. If you hang around people who lack ambition, eventually your fire will begin to die down. However, if you hang around people who know how to make a plan and then execute it, then you will begin to do the same. “Surround yourself with people who reflect who you want to be and how you want to feel, energies are contagious!”

If you see a friend drowning, you would call for help, throw them a buoy, or better yet you would jump in and save them. Bottom line, you would do something. The same thing should apply when it comes to telling the truth. Truth is. . . sometimes the truth hurts, and most of the times we push honest people away. However, we must be friends with people who don’t mind putting us in check. Even if that means making us mad. You can’t be afraid to lose a friend because of the truth. If a friend walks out of your life because you were honest, then it was just their time to go. “The ugly truth is better than a pretty lie.” So many times in our friendship circles, we do each other a disservice because we won’t tell the truth; even about the smallest things. If the outfit doesn’t fit my body type, tell me. If my hair is looking busted, tell me. If I’m ashy, musty, crusty, tell me. If my Facebook status was out of line, tell me. If the picture I posted on Instagram made me look desperate, tell me. If I said something that hit below the belt and it hurt you, tell me. Just be honest. When I am wrong, let me know. . .don’t let me drown!

Accountability is a must. True friends bring out the best in each other. We need those friends that will check on us, and double-check on us to make sure we’re doing what we should be doing. We need those friends who refuse to celebrate in our weaknesses. We need those friends who won’t attend our unnecessary pity-parties. Those friends that will remind us of the goals we set, and that will commit to getting us there even when we don’t want to go. We need those friends to remind us of our new healthy lifestyle, and refuse to let us eat more than one slice of turtle cheesecake. We need those friends who refuse to let us settle for less than we deserve. Those friends who will not let us wallow in our mess. Those friends that won’t let us dwell on our past mistakes, instead they give us tips on how to move forward. We must be responsible for each other. We must look out for one another. We need to keep each other grounded. We need to keep each other focused.

You need friends that have your best interest at heart. You need friends that will pray for you without you having to ask them too, and vice versa. You need friends who will make wise decisions, and who will encourage you to do the same. You must surround yourself with people who inspire you. Connect with people who will push you to be the best version of you. Remember, birds of a feather flock together.” Your friends are directly linked to your future; if your friends are the bomb.com, then you will be too!

~B.

image

Birds Of A Feather. . .

“Don’t be fooled: “Bad friends will ruin good habits.” (1 Corinthians 15:33)

Point. Blank. Period. I could just stop right there.

This is one of those scriptures that punched me right in the stomach. Because come on, we all have friends that we know should do better, that we know could change, however they refuse too and we just won’t let them go. They are dragging us down, and frustrating us, and draining all of our energy, but we continue to spend our time with them. We spend our money on them. We hang out with them. We fix their problems. We make excuses for them. We tell ourselves that it’s not that serious. . . that as long as we are not participating in their bad habits, then it’s nothing wrong with being friends with them. WRONG.

My mom always said, “Association brings on assimilation.” You become who you hang around. It has been proven. The 5 people who you hang around the most, have the biggest influence over your life. And if we’re honest with ourselves, we can see the truth in that.

We all have spirits and energy that can be transferred to one another. That’s why if one of your friends is crying, you want to cry. Or if one of your friends is mad, you begin to get mad.  If one of your friends curses a lot, then chances are you will start sounding like a pirate soon. If one of your friends gossip all the time, then chances are you will begin to stay in other people’s business as well. If one of your friends is Negative Nate or Debbie Downer then chances are you will start to see your cup half empty.

It is a fact; birds of a feather flock together. It’s also a proven fact that spirits transfer. We are drawn to people with the same energy as us, kindred spirits. As humans, we like to be around other humans who are just like us. We like to feel needed. We are social creatures.

So check this: If you go hang out in the smoker’s lounge too long, 9 times out of 9 you will come out smelling like smoke; and other people will automatically assume that you’re a smoker whether you were actually smoking or not. . . Right? So that means if you don’t smoke, don’t go in the smoker’s lounge. It’s just that simple, we can’t get upset when people paint their own pictures of us; especially when we continue to give them the paint, the primer, and the brushes.

If you are practicing celibacy, you can’t hang out with people who like talking about their sex life all the time; because you will find yourself wanting to engage in sexual activities. You are trying to lose weight for the fourth time this year, but your friend is always offering you a Quarter Pounder with cheese; sooner or later you are going to take them up on that offer. You stopped drinking, but every weekend your friends are taking Jell-O shots and popping bottles; after a while you will be sipping as well.  And I know some of us like to get all deep and say that “We are Christians, and we know how to withstand temptation, we have self-control, we have will power. . .” and I agree, God is with you, and I’m glad you are living for Him, however your flesh is weak and to continue to put yourself in compromising situations that will only lead to dead ends is just crazy. You are asking for trouble. You’re playing with fire, and eventually you will get burned. If your friends are living a certain way or engaging in activities that are no longer good to you or for you, why would you continue to be around them?

People often come to me for advice about friendship, and most of the times I ask everyone these few questions:

  1. How are you benefitting from that person?
  2. Are they adding to you, or taking away from you?
  3. How is that person benefitting from you?
  4. What do they bring to the table?

If you have a friend who is selfish, and isn’t attempting to help you in any way, drop them. If they always have their hand out, and are taking away from you, drop them. If you are always doing for them, and you feel used, drop them. If they don’t add any value to your life, if they don’t encourage you to be a better person, drop them.

Stop tolerating that emotional abuse! Rid yourself of the leeches who are sucking you dry. People like that will do more harm than good.

Either you will change your friends, or your friends will change you. It’s no way around it. No matter how good you attempt to be, if you keep hanging around trash, you will start to stink. And nobody wants to be a hot, funky, moving mess.  So set yourself apart, and align yourself with people who are heading in the same direction as you. We can’t choose our family, however we can choose our friends. Choose wisely.

~B.

2014 hh