What other people think about you is none of your business. It’s their business.
Over the course of my 20+ years of living, there have been people who crossed my path who have wondered the who’s, the what’s, the when’s, the how’s, and the why’s as it pertains to my life. My secret is simply this: I have a relationship with God. He is the One who gets all the credit for the Favor and every blessing that I have ever received.
However, just as blessed as I am, and just as much as God favors me. . .I must admit that I have my share of volcanic eruption trouble that most people wouldn’t be able to handle. I learned a few years ago that when you are Favored, the opposition is always EXTRA. But, instead of praising my opposition, giving energy to it, over-analyzing, and telling all my friends about my many troubles, or about how many people don’t understand me; I have mastered the art of being optimistic. Through every storm, I make it my business to find the sunlight. So you can just call me Susie Sunshine.
For the earlier part of my adult life, I battled with being accepted by others. So I guess I would’ve been labeled as a “people pleaser.” Like, I used to really get bent out of shape if everybody wasn’t on my team. I was very, very indecisive and even when I made a decision, I would second guess it.
Honest Moment: In my young mind, I really thought that I needed the approval of others to strive. I thought I needed their validation.
And I know, in most cases, the people who need that “stamp of approval” usually come from broken situations and messed up family structures, however that wasn’t true in my case. My parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and even friends have always loved and supported me. My parents always made me feel like I could do the impossible. My mom always told me that I was smart, beautiful, and that she was so proud of me, and on and on and on. However, there was something that just wasn’t clicking and about 5 years ago, through the help and counsel of Reverend George Edge, I was finally able to pinpoint the real problem: Britney James. Me; I was the problem. I was the issue. There was a battle going on, on the inside of me. I didn’t feel like myself anymore.
I literally felt bad because things in my life were going well. It sounds crazy, but I felt like a 13-year-old girl trying to fit in. I started to question everything that God has blessed me with. From being intelligent and attractive, to growing up in a two parent home, to having a good job and being able to travel. My thought process had become so dark and negative. I was becoming a pessimist. I wanted to be accepted so badly. I didn’t want to be peculiar. I was being my own worst enemy. I was burning up all my energy, and actually giving up parts of myself just so I could feel “normal.” And so because of that, I was looking for fulfillment in all the wrong places. I was like a bucket with holes at the bottom, no matter how much my loved ones poured into me, nothing was staying in.
It’s amazing just how powerful the mind really is!
I wanted to be average, ordinary, and regular. I thought that if I was like everybody else, THEN maybe everybody would accept me. I wanted to be ordinary because honestly, I knew that being extra-ordinary would require too much effort on my part. It would require me to change some things, well a LOT of things. I would have to accept the fact that not everyone was Team Britney. And that’s how Rev. Edge was able to confirm without a shadow of doubt that it was indeed a ploy of the enemy. The enemy was literally killing, stealing, and destroying my peace of mind because he knew that if I allowed him to knock me of course, then I wouldn’t be able to receive all that God had for me. And even though I was faced with a huge problem, I was able to turn to the huge problem solver; God. I had to press Reset. I had to allow Him to reconstruct me; and change my mindset. I had to allow Him to love on me. The guilt that I felt for being set apart, I had to allow Him to ease that. He was able to give me the peace that my mama used to talk about, that peace that surpasses all understanding; literally. I just had to keep my mind stayed on Him. I had to stop worrying about others, and run my own race. It took time, but through the prayers of the righteous and ridding myself of all the junk and negativity, now I can finally say I’m free; I have peace in my mind. I see the Light. So now I am able to clearly understand and focus on God’s Will for my life.
This is why we must make it our business to inspire, motivate, and uplift because we never know what people are battling internally. The battlefield of the mind is something serious, this is why I encourage people to think positively, to look for the Light in every situation, and to also surround themselves with optimistic people.
So many times we focus our attention and give our energy to the wrong things. So what someone said something mean about you, if there’s no truth to it, then it doesn’t matter. So what someone didn’t speak to you first, maybe they didn’t see you, so won’t you try saying hello to them. So what you only have two friends, if they are loyal, honest and trustworthy, that’s all you need. So what somebody doesn’t think you’re attractive, as long as you can look in the mirror and love every lump and bump, that’s all that matters. So many of us spend way too much time chasing down lies, and we waste energy trying to impress people who have just set their minds not to like us. Stop taking your mind through that mental abuse!
Newsflash: No matter how good you are, there will always be someone who just doesn’t like you. And guess what? That’s not your problem. So stop wasting your valuable time. Remember you will always be too much of something to somebody. Too thick. Too skinny. Too short. Too tall. Too smart. Too slow. Too ambitious. Too lazy. Too passive. Too aggressive.
Wasting your time being so focused about what others are thinking about you serves you nothing. It’s not worth interrupting your peace.
Seeking the approval of others is a complete waste of time and energy that you will not get back. It will only frustrate you when you can’t please everybody. It’s really not about whether others approve of you, but if you approve of you; and ultimately if God approves of you. This is what counts.
We must remember that trials, tribulations, obstacles, opposition, and even the opinions of others are all a part of life. We must learn not to allow things that don’t matter to bother us. Everything is not a mountain situation, some things are just mole hills; so keep calm, there’s no reason to put all your energy towards it. In the midst of those clouds, just look for the sunlight.
Life is too short to be bitter and negative, unite yourself with the people who bring the most peace. Start to distance yourself from the people who always seem to point out your problems; however they are not willing to help you find solutions to those problems. Disconnect from people who don’t motivate you to reach your highest potential. I want to encourage you to connect with the people who can see the Light in you; the people who will encourage and uplift you. Link up with the people who will be honest with you, and bring out the best in you. Spend your time with the people who are committed to helping you get to your destiny. From friendships to intimate relationships, surround yourself with Light not darkness.
“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on You!” (Isaiah 26:3)