A few months ago, I read something that said:

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“Be friends with people who force you to level up.”

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Level Up (v.) is an action idiom, so that means the friends are forcing some type of action to take place. To me that quote means, be friends with people who force you to:  achieve, improve, excel, move forward, enhance, advance, be responsible, be accountable, be honest, be loyal, be better.

A few days ago, a friend of mine checked me. And I’m not talking about a beating around the bush/throwing shade kind of checking. I’m talking about a very direct, in your face “Brit you are wrong” type of checking. Now at first, I’ll admit. . .I was half-way ticked off. For about 2 minutes, I allowed my mind to GO THERE. “I mean, she has some kind of nerve coming at me, telling me that I was wrong. I’m not wrong, they are wrong. Like who does she think she is?! She’s supposed to be on my side anyway. She’s my friend. How dare she go against what I feel?!”

Then, during my morning meditation the next day, I started to think about how wonderful it is to have people in my life that aren’t afraid to be brutally honest with me. They will tell me the truth even if it means offending me. I am actually grateful to be connected with honest folks that don’t mind challenging me. I am blessed to have some “You are wrong Brit” people in my life. Because I have learned that it is that type of raw honesty that’s going to help me be real with myself; so that I can get rid of anything weighing me down in order to get to my next level. It is that type of friend that will be there to ensure that I level up.

So many times we are looking for those people that will say “You are always right.” The folks that know we are dead wrong, yet they will lie to us to make us feel better. We tend to want those people that will go along to get along. The people that will tell us what we want to hear, rather than what we need to hear. Not realizing that those types of people are actually holding us back.  They are the ones that are usually comfortable in their mess, so they do all they can to keep us satisfied so that we can keep them company. And honestly, they don’t love or care about us. Because when you love and care about someone, you are honest with them.

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“If a friend isn’t pushing you forward, they are holding you back.”

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One of my favorite quotes is, “The ugly truth is better than a pretty lie.” The older I get, the more I realize I need that honest-to-God truth. Honesty helps to build character. And whether I totally agree with my friend or not, I’m just glad that she loves and respects me enough to be honest with me. She cared enough to say what I’m sure some others may have been thinking. We need those friends who will be just like the car visor mirror, and help us to look deep inside and see every flaw and blemish that we thought we could hide with the filters of dishonesty, denial, and deception.

It is so important to have friendships that are deeper than gossiping and grabbing a few drinks. More than just social media posts and going out. We need friends that will bring balance and order to our lives.

In order to level up, we need those people who will hold us accountable, and help push and motivate us to do better. We need those people who won’t allow us to stay stuck, and be lazy or complacent. Those people who will tell us when we are falling back into some of our old habits; and then give us ways to recover.

We must have people we can share our fears and aspirations with. The ones who we can tell our business ideas and they have the faith to believe it. People we can share good news about our jobs or intimate relationships, and they not get jealous and start hating. Those friends that refuse to allow us to settle for less than we deserve.

It’s important to have friends that will attend church with you, and pray for you without you having to ask. I’m talking about the ones that won’t just discuss Empire and the Falcons game, but they will also have in-depth conversations about things that are spiritual and life-altering.

You must have friends who know exactly what to say, and also know when to say nothing at all.

Make sure you have that crew that will laugh and cry with you. The ones that will send you random text messages just to see how you’re doing. You need those people that will rearrange their schedules to be there for you, no matter the distance; even when it’s inconvenient for them.

Have friends you can take naps with, or even sit in silence and do nothing with; as well as the ones you talk to about any and every thing for hours at a time. You need people that will invite you to brunch, and pick up the tab. It’s good to have friends that will go see the midnight showing of the new Hunger Games movie, and travel around the world with you. And let’s not forget the ones that will not only work-out with you, but they will also help you meal prep.

Be thankful for the ones who will encourage you to budget, and help you develop vision boards for your life plans. You need those friends that will cheer you on, and celebrate your accomplishments.

Be sure to have those friends who support your life goals, and believe in your dreams. You need friends who you can look up too. Those positive influences who are inspirations to your life, and make you want to level up.

Surround yourself with people who make you a better person. And the next time you are in the presence of those friends, whether it be 2 or 10, be sure to tell each of them thank you. Make sure they know that you appreciate them for forcing you to level up; and that you are grateful for all that they add to your life.

~B.